If your dog struggles with being left alone, you’re not alone. Separation anxiety can feel heartbreaking and overwhelming—for both you and your pup. The good news is that there are simple, gentle steps you can take today to begin building your dog’s comfort with alone time and make what you are both experiencing feel a little easier. To understand why those simple, gentle things will help, we need first to understand what separation anxiety is (and isn’t). 

Separation anxiety is a panic issue—a true fear of alone time. Maybe you’re afraid of heights or know someone who is? Just like a human who is terrified of heights might involuntarily freeze, scream, cry, or sweat when faced with that scary thing, dogs struggling with separation anxiety are experiencing genuine distress when home alone. They are having a hard time, not giving you one.

Sometimes knowing where to begin to help your pup overcome this fear can feel overwhelming, which is why I wanted to offer you five things you can start doing today, or whenever you’re ready, to make things a little easier for you both: 

1. Manage Alone Time

If your dog is panicking when left alone, one of the kindest things you can do is manage absences so they are not left alone. I have walked in your shoes as the guardian of a dog with separation anxiety and recognize this may feel like a tall and overwhelming ask.  Managing absences does not mean you need to be with your dog 24/7. That would be an unfair and impossible ask of anyone. Rather, it means that when you aren’t able to be home with your dog, you have arranged for him to be in the care of another human. That might mean rearranging your schedule differently, asking a friend or neighbor to step in, taking your dog with you on errands, or even looking into dog sitters or daycare. This is a temporary ask, not a permanent one! Separation anxiety is treatable, and managing scary alone time is a necessary component of the fear-unlearning process. 

2. Use a Camera

Ever wonder what your dog does after you leave? Observing your dog after you walk out the door gives you real insight into what is happening for your dog after that door closes. This does not need to be a fancy or high-tech process – setting up a simple camera (even an old phone or laptop works). Having “eyes on your dog” allows you to observe their specific behaviors (e.g., barking, pacing, panting), the intensity and frequency of those behaviors, and to learn if your dog relaxes sooner than you thought. Having clear information about your dog’s alone-time behavior helps you determine where to begin training and to track progress.

3. Talk to Your Vet

Veterinary professionals are an essential part of any dog’s care team. If your dog is struggling with separation anxiety (or any behavioral issue), it is important to let your vet know so they can rule out medical issues of concern and discuss options with you, including medication. For many dogs, medication can support, and even enhance, the learning process. For other dogs, medication is never a part of their separation anxiety journey. To be clear, I’m not a veterinarian, and I am not advising on your dog’s medical care. This step is simply a reminder that you are your dog’s advocate, which includes providing for their mental and physical health. 

4. Start Small

The path forward is all about baby steps. Over time, those baby steps will transition to giant-sized steps, but only after we have built that really strong foundation for continued learning. Think of it like building a house – if building the foundation is rushed, we end up with cracks that risk the collapse of the entire structure as we keep going. A strong foundation free of cracks is essential for both safety and efficiency, and that is true with separation anxiety training, and why we start small and progress at the dog’s pace. “Starting small” means first figuring out how much alone time a dog can handle without stress (that’s where Step 2 comes in) and then beginning to practice short absences under the level that feel safe and boring. This might be just a few seconds at first—that’s okay! Progress starts wherever they’re comfortable. 

5. Reach Out for Help

You are not alone; you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Qualified trainers who specialize in separation anxiety, veterinary professionals with a behavior specialty, and even online communities can give you guidance, encouragement, and support. Sometimes simply saying, “I get it,” makes all the difference. So, here you go, “I get it.” And, if you would like more support in figuring out the next steps in your separation anxiety journey, please be in touch via our contact form.

Helping a dog with separation anxiety takes time, patience, and emotional energy. The journey is not usually easy or simple, but I assure you it’s worth it when you once again can pick up your stuff, walk out the door, and go enjoy “real life” knowing your dog is home alone and comfortable while you do. I understand that may seem impossible at the moment, but there is hope – separation is treatable.